I am outside, enjoying the sun's cancer rays. It beats staying inside and thinking about things I shouldn't think of.
One of the many things I have learned as an adult is that I will never stop changing. I will continue to grow and learn until my life becomes so monotonous that it will be impossible for me to change...unless I change my routine. I absolutely hate change. I love being in control and knowing what happens next. It's not like that anymore. I have to pay attention to my surroundings and my social situations--even then, I am not completely sure what's going to happen next. I can guess, but I am usually wrong.
For instance, my friend threw me a curveball the other day. He's leaving in a month to go to a distant, foreign country to study for a year--a year without him by my side. I just wonder how I am going to cope with his absence. I depend on his hugs and warmth and to be without it is scary as hell.
Control freak much? Why yes.
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