Kali is my favorite

This time last year, I wrote about how I learned so much about myself in a week's time. Mainly, I focused on my lesson of Hindu tantric teachings. You see, tantric practioners believe that empowerment can come in the form of trying new and taboo things in a religious ceremony. For instance, a devote Hindu can eat meat through a religious ceremony and gain knowledge from their experience. Mainly, the Hindu finds out that the world doesn't blow up after s/he eats the piece of meat. Through this gain of knowledge, the Hindu is empowered and the empowerment leds to freedom. A year ago, I gave my virginity to a man that I love and cherish and hold dear to my heart. He is my best friend. I didn't give it to a boyfriend or someone who could hurt me with it later. I gave it to the one person I trusted enough to hold it dearly and tenderly without harming me in the process. I think that was the best decision of my life. I was raised by uptight Baptists that preached pre-marital sex was going to earn me a spot in hell. Through my experience, no matter how taboo it was for my family, I found empowerment and freedom. There is a biological need for humans to have sex and I learned that at an age that felt right for me and with a man that could handle me. Freedom. Empowerment. It feels awesome. I kinda am wondering where that enlightened woman went. This past year has been a big cluster fuck. I've had my ups and downs to the point where they are past extreme. When I am up, I am way up, happier than anyone should ever be. And when I am down, I don't want to ever get out of bed. Depression hurts, and some people know this because they live with it. Right now, it's kinda weird for me, since I am not manic in any way. It feels...nice. I care about what I need to care about, think about my goals and how to achieve them, and disregard those things that I don't need to care about. I hope this feeling lasts a while and nothing happens to mess it up.